BBYW Vol. 4 Chapter 48 (WN)
Chapter 48 – Dreaming of Goodbyes
【POV: Naam Sphinx 】
Lord Dyngir has headed to Fort Giza, to drive the “Terror Armies” out of the western province.
Since the day of his departure, I have been anxious to the point of barely eating anything.
“Naam, you have to eat something.”
Mist was sitting on the bed with me, looking worried at me.
We were in my room in the Sphinx residence. Ever since Lord Dyngir left, I started shutting myself inside it again, so the maid would bring my meals here.
I had been barely touching them, however, so Mist became worried and came to check on me.
“I know…Mist…”
“Do you, really? Your dinner is still here.”
Mist looked at the tray, still half full, and sighed.
I looked back at her, frowning with a hand on her hip, and pouted.
“You say that, Mist…but you’re not looking so good either…”
“Well…that’s true.”
Mist didn’t seem to know what else to say.
She has been keeping up a tough front after my brother’s death, but I knew it was just a facade.
She never showed signs of crying, but she wept for him even more than me, his sister.
“…it’s fine for tonight, but can you promise you’ll eat breakfast tomorrow? I’ll make you some rice gruel, so it’s easier to eat.”
“You promise too, Mist.”
“…you’ll stop growing if you don’t eat properly, you know. You won’t get any taller, and your chest won’t get big either.”
“Uugh….”
I was hit where it really hurt and held down my chest with my hands.
My body was still far from being fully grown: on the contrary, it felt like I was growing 2-3 years more slowly than the other girls my age.
(Nhh…I don’t have much of an appetite lately, but I always ate all of my meals before…and I’ve been practicing with the sword in the garden too, to exercise…)
I peeked at Mist’s body. She had lost weight these few weeks, but her chest and hips were still plump: in my eyes, she had curves anyone would envy.
“Naam?”
“I’m going to sleep now, so go out! I’ll eat properly tomorrow morning!”
“That’s great, but…?”
Puzzled at my reaction, Mist picked up the tray and exited the room.
Hoping to forget the frustration welling up inside, I turned off the light, covered my head with the blanket and closed my eyes.
～
That night, I had a dream.
It was Valon and Mist’s wedding.
They looked so happy in their traditional wedding clothes. Behind them there were also dad, Jaar and the other servants of House Sphinx, all clapping happily.
Everyone was cheerfully celebrating the two newlyweds.
Some time later, a baby was born.
The firstborn was a girl. She was blonde and had a dark complexion, just like her mom and dad.
Father was a bit disappointed that it wasn’t a boy, but Valon declared in front of everyone that “the next one is coming soon, don’t worry!”, to the sheer embarrassment of Mist, who punched his lights out.
Everyone was laughing happily, again.
Then…eventually, my turn came.
My husband was a man a bit older than me, coming from a different province.
He had been betrayed by his fiancee in the past: because of that, he found it difficult to find a new partner, and was still single.
My brother opposed the wedding at first, so it took a while and a lot of work, but in the end he acknowledged the man’s love and affection for me and we married.
My brother had a stone-like look on his face throughout the ceremony: he kept drinking, though it didn’t look like he was enjoying himself at all.
After that, I took my husband’s hand: together, we were going to depart from the western province.
Mist had a broad smile on her face, but father looked apprehensive. My brother — seemed in genuine pain, as we said our farewells.
“…take care of yourself, Naam.”
Those were the last words my brother Valon told me, before I climbed on the horse carriage.
It was a happy, yet sad dream.
～
“Ah…”
When I woke up, there were traces of tears on my cheeks.
The sky peering beyond the curtains was still dark: it was still the middle of the night.
“……………”
I bit my lower lip and clenched the bedsheets.
It was a joyful future, a future that could have been…but no more. The realization finally struck me fully.
“Brother…”
My kind, worrywart of a brother…was gone.
It didn’t feel real when I first heard of his death. For the first time, the truth sank into my heart.
“Brother…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…”
I’m sorry.
You died protecting me…protecting us…and I couldn’t cry until today. I’m really sorry.
I silently prayed for my brother’s soul to rest, and cried a little more.
Soon enough, sunlight peered in the room. I opened the window and faced towards the western border, hoping my words would reach the person I longed for.
“Please be safe, Lord Dyngir…you don’t have to take the fort…please, please, just come back safe and sound…”