IGTL Chapter 21

Chapter 21 – Trouble at the Adventurers’ Guild (2)

“Me, the same as these guys? Not a chance, obviously.”

What an incredibly rude guy.

There was no way someone like me was in the same league as these drunkards who stayed stuck at level 1.

My current level was 100.

Don’t lump me together with them.

More importantly, I had to feed my adorable, adorable Elementals some Peroperosaurus TKG.

Do not get in my way.

I threw a sidelong glance at the idiot who had spoken to me, then headed toward the tavern area. I stopped a nearby waitress and ordered Peroperosaurus TKG for four.

“Hey, miss. Peroperosaurus TKG for four, please.”

“Certainly! Peroperosaurus TKG for four! Right away!”

What an energetic waitress.

TKG did not take long to prepare.

I commandeered a roomy table for six and sat down to wait patiently for the Peroperosaurus TKG to arrive.

Then the guy I had brushed off earlier came over again, irritation written all over his face.

“Hey. Don’t run away!”

“Huh?”

Run away?

Me??

From who?

Surely he didn’t mean from you, did he?

“I already gave you an answer, didn’t I? I’m busy. I have to treat my Elementals to some TKG. Don’t bother me.”

Elementals had very delicate personalities, you know?

So delicate that they might fire heat rays on their own, even.

If my adorable Elementals unleashed their heat rays at your pitiful little treasure, what would you do then? I could sue you.

I brushed the man off again, and right then the waitress arrived with the food.

“Thank you for waiting. Four orders of Peroperosaurus TKG. Please pour this soy sauce over it before you begin!”

Once the waitress set the Peroperosaurus TKG on the table, the Elementals swarmed the bowls.

I understood them so well.

Elementals, I get it!

TKG was delicious.

And Peroperosaurus TKG on top of that? Absolute peak.

Not that I had ever actually eaten it myself.

The Elementals shifted colors in bright, gleaming flashes, clearly overjoyed.

The sight was so heartwarming that a smile came to my lips all on its own.

Then the man from earlier strutted up to the table.

“What? You’re feeding Elementals human food? And it’s Peroperosaurus TKG, too!? That’s wasted on Elementals! I’ll eat it for you.”

“Haaah?”

What was this guy even saying?

“You’re in the way of the Elementals’ meal. Go stand over there somewhere.”

I spoke a word of warning as his hand reached toward the Peroperosaurus TKG.

But he ignored me and stretched his hand out toward the Elementals’ TKG anyway.

The moment he tried to grab one of the Peroperosaurus TKG bowls, I seized his wrist and barked at him.

“The Elementals are still eating that!”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

What was this guy thinking, reaching for the Peroperosaurus TKG my Elementals were about to enjoy?

Was he seriously trying to make me angry?

“Heh, is that so?”

Smirking, he made a show of grabbing the bowl of Peroperosaurus TKG and, of all things, deliberately dumped the TKG the Elementals had been looking forward to onto the floor.

It happened so suddenly that my thoughts could not keep up.

“Y–You… what are you…”

Peroperosaurus TKG scattered across the floor.

The Elementals gathered around the Peroperosaurus TKG lying on the ground.

The three-second rule…

That thing about how if you pick up dropped food within three seconds, it’s supposedly still fine.

As expected of Elementals.

They neatly polished off every last bit of Peroperosaurus TKG scattered on the floor.

Seeing Elementals who refused to waste food like that somehow made them feel sacred.

“Hahahahaha! As expected of Elementals owned by a level-1 S-rank adventurer. Looks like they’ve got no manners at all. Normally, who eats food all over the floor? Nobody does!”

And here came someone to ruin the sanctity of the moment.

Letting a quiet anger smolder in my chest, I called out to the waitress.

“…I’m sorry, but could I get four more orders of Peroperosaurus TKG?”

The waitress’s face clouded with regret as she murmured apologetically.

“With your earlier order, we have sold out of Peroperosaurus TKG for today. I am terribly sorry…”

“Ah… I see.”

“M-My deepest apologies!”

“N-No, if it’s sold out, then there’s nothing to be done. I’m the one who’s sorry. Somehow…”

My eyes went vacant as I muttered that, then I turned my gaze toward the man who had dumped out the Elementals’ meal.

“…Somehow, I’m really starting to get pissed off. Hey, you balding jerk over there. What’s your name?”

“Hah? Why the hell should I tell the likes of you my name?”

The man’s face twisted with irritation at my words.

What was this guy irritated about?

I was the one who had every right to be annoyed here.

“…Follow me. Level-1 S-rank adventurer. I’ll show you the difference in class.”

“Oh yeah? Fine, let’s see it.”

I left the Elementals where they were, still absorbed in licking up the Peroperosaurus TKG on the floor, and followed the man.

There was an underground arena attached to the Adventurers’ Guild.

Apparently, we were going to settle things down there.

He kept babbling about showing me the difference in class, but I didn’t care.

There was only one thing I intended to show him.

Nothing less than a vision of hell itself.

“Hey. You planning to fight in that ridiculous getup?”

“Huh?”

Hold on. He did not just call my Mob-Fenrir Suit a ridiculous getup, did he?

The only ridiculous one here was you, buddy.

What was with that blatantly beginner-tier gear?

A “Cypress Stick” and “Plain Clothes”?

Are you stupid?

What is this, Dragon Quest or something!?

Wait, was he seriously planning to beat me with that loadout?

I was level 100, you know?

Level 100 counted as mid-tier strength in DW.

I was not the kind of opponent a total newbie should be picking fights with.

At this point, Kyle or even “AAAA,” both wearing cash-shop gear, would be stronger than him.

And he still had the nerve to pick a fight with me?

Well, I would take the fight, though…

“I’ll at least give you credit for one thing… you didn’t turn tail and run from me. But I hate cheats like you. There’s no way someone can be an S-rank adventurer at level 1!”

“Yeah, I agree with you!”

Which was exactly why I had no idea why he had picked a fight with me in the first place.

Still, any fight someone picked with me in-game, I would simply accept.

Once people started thinking they could walk all over you, it was over.

“Hah? What are you even talking about? Whatever… Once I win this fight, I’ll rocket straight up to S-rank!”

“Sigh… Right, sure. Do your best.”

Not that beating an S-rank adventurer would actually rank you up. There was no such rule.

Did this guy seriously not know that?

“Haaah! Enjoy acting all relaxed while you still can!”

“Good grief…”

As he charged me with his Cypress Stick in hand, I leveled my Mob-Fenrir Bazooka at him and pulled the trigger.

With a loud “Waooon!”, the man was blasted backward.

“Guugh…pe…”

It had only been a blank. Just a shockwave alone.

If it had been loaded, his body would have had a Mob-Fenrir-mark-shaped hole in it by now.

It was not that I wanted to kill him.

I just wanted to show him hell.

Once he had passed out from the blank round, I tied him up and took a certain item out of my item storage.

I had taken out exactly one thing.

A toilet clog remover. A rubber plunger (used).

It was something I kept at home.

I slapped the man’s cheek a few times to wake him up.

Then, gripping the plunger in one hand, I grinned.

“Uuugh… What happened to me…? H-Huh? Why am I tied up?”

“Morning. Looks like you’re finally awake, scumbag.”

“Y–You… Let me go. I said let me go!”

As if I would untie him.

He had not only robbed my adorable Elementals of their fun, he had insulted them on top of it.

I could never forgive that.

Well, yes, the Elementals had happily eaten the TKG off the floor, but that was a separate issue.

Until he had undergone proper atonement, there would be no forgiveness.

As I loomed over him, plunger in hand, he twitched and his cheek spasmed.

It looked like he had realized what I was holding.

After all, DW’s toilets worked just like ordinary flush toilets in the real world.

“W-What are you planning to do with that…?”

“Hm? Isn’t it obvious? Your head looks like it’s clogged full of crap… so I figured I’d use this to clear the blockage for you.”

“S-Stop, don—!? Fggghh!?”

I pressed the used plunger firmly onto the face of the bastard who had deliberately dumped the Elementals’ TKG, and squashed it down.

Then, with a sharp tug, I yanked it back, while the bastard grimaced in agony and clawed at the plunger trying to pull it off.

“U-Uuggghhh…”

I steeled my heart and squashed the plunger down again.

It was a stubborn clog.

If I did not clear the blockage in this bastard’s head, he would probably keep pestering me over and over.

So I just kept going, pressing and popping the plunger against his face again and again.

At last, with a faint “Ugh…” the bastard toppled over.

Probably from lack of oxygen.

After waiting a few seconds, I grabbed the plunger still stuck to his face.

With a loud “plop,” the plunger came off.

What incredible suction.

You would never have guessed that I had bought it from a 100-yen store.

With this, I was sure I had cleared the clog in this bastard’s head too.

I stored the plunger back in my item storage, handed the guy who had collapsed from oxygen deprivation over to the Adventurers’ Guild staff, and headed back to the tavern.

When I returned, the Elementals had finished eating the TKG scattered on the floor, and the waitress was in the middle of cleaning up the dishes.

“Ah, I’m so sorry. I should have been the one to clean this up…”

Scratching my head awkwardly, I watched the waitress smile as she picked up the broken dishes.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re used to this kind of thing. Still, that was quite the ordeal for you.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Although it’s still nothing compared to what you go through.”

Waiters and waitresses who had to deal with adventurers directly obviously had it worse than I did.

“That’s not really true, you know?”

“Huh?”

It wasn’t?

“We get danger allowances on top of our daily wages. And if trouble breaks out, we get an extra bonus. Honestly, we welcome disputes!”

Behind the waitress, the other waiters were all flashing peace signs.

To think they actually welcomed trouble.

They were a hardy bunch, to say the least.