IGTL Chapter 25

Chapter 25 – Hit Back When You’re Hit! Payback Times Two! (2)

“Y–You, hand that… over… u–ugh…”

Heh heh heh…

Refri Jilator, you really were a needy little man, weren’t you?

Those burning eyes of yours were glued to the chamber pot I had taken out… Did you want it that badly?

When I made a point of waving the chamber pot in front of him, Refri Jilator’s face twisted between rage and agony.

He really did have a talent for pulling off complicated expressions.

But it looked like he no longer had the luxury to talk.

He was trembling, body quaking as he writhed in pain.

Served him right.

“Now then, do you finally understand how I felt?”

I rubbed the stun gun against his cheek like I was mashing a joystick, and Refri Jilator clenched his teeth.

His face was beet red.

Yikes. At this rate his poor anal sphincter was going to give out any second now.

As expected of a laxative meant for monsters. It worked frighteningly fast.

The combination of the bumpy carriage ride and the laxative was probably delivering a continuous direct attack straight to Refri Jilator’s guts.

It was practically a permanent trap card: “Carriage Vibration.”

An endless trap from hell that kept inflicting vibrations on anyone suffering from stomach pain.

Takahashi Kakeru launched a direct attack on Refri Jilator’s anal sphincter!

That was exactly how it felt.

I unlocked the box trap and turned to face him.

“Well then, see you around, Refri Jilator. Enjoy your little public-shaming parade. Adios!”

“W–Wait, you— fffguuuuuuuuuu!!?”

With a thumbs-up, I leapt out of the box trap.

At that precise moment, I heard a sound like the entire contents of Refri Jilator’s intestines detonating all at once.

“What a filthy firework.”

Of course, I had just wanted to say the line. In reality, it really was disgusting.

Even though I had gone out of my way to provide him with a chamber pot, he apparently had not used it.

Well, managing to use a chamber pot while tied up would have been impressive in its own way.

Not that there was any toilet paper to wipe his filthy ass with, even if he had managed it.

After humiliating him that thoroughly, he probably would not come after me again.

And if he did, I would just run it back for another take.

If he insisted on picking a fight with me, I was ready to keep filming as many “takes” as it took.

Sure, it would mean more filthy fireworks every time, but if he was fine with that, he could come at me as many times as he liked.

Leaving behind the wagon carrying Refri Jilator, roaring in a deep, guttural voice, I headed back toward the inn.

◇◆◇

“G–Grr, uwooooooh! What exactly are Beets and Cresson doing back there!?”

Refri Jilator’s furious screams rang out from within the box trap set on the wagon bed.

Sitting on the driver’s bench and holding the reins, Beets wore a puzzled expression.

“Hm… That’s odd.”

It had sounded like Lord Refri Jilator’s voice coming from the wagon bed.

…No, that had to be his imagination.

Lord Refri Jilator’s wagon was the one in front. The box trap on this wagon contained Cresson. That Mob-Fenrir punk was probably the one screaming his lungs out.

What a classless scream.

That was what he got for picking a fight with the Refrigerator Clan.

What an idiot.

Without paying any more attention to the shouting from behind, Beets kept the wagon rolling.

Before long, the Refrigerator Clan headquarters came into view.

He stopped the wagon, climbed down from the driver’s bench, and looked back at the cargo bed.

“Cresson. We’re here at headquarters. That’s enough for n—huh?”

There, inside the box trap, was Lord Refri Jilator in a state that defied description.

Beets tried to hurry over, but the stench hit him like a wall and he could not bring himself any closer.

“Ugh… Th–That reeks!?”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, and Lord Refri Jilator immediately shot him a murderous glare.

“Beets? What did you just say to me?”

Th–This was bad. His careless comment…

Lord Refri Jilator was angry.

He had to calm him down somehow.

“N–No, that is not what I meant!? I was only thinking that you had a… ah… rich, earthy scent, like composted soil matured enough to rot trees and plants, my lord…”

“I do not need such humiliating excuses!! Hurry up and get me out of here! And have a shower and fresh clothes ready! Uuugh… This is so embarrassing I can’t even walk! And book my cosmetic surgery while you’re at it!”

“B–But, my lord…”

“I said hurry!”

“Y–Yes, at once!”

W–What on earth… What even happened here? Where was that Mob-Fenrir bastard?

How had Lord Refri Jilator ended up like this…?

And if that was the case, then who had been riding in the wagon up front?

After untying the ropes that bound Lord Refri Jilator, Beets glanced toward the leading wagon.

There he saw Cresson, clutching his crotch and writhing in agony.

C–Cresson!?

W–What was he doing!?

And when had he ended up in the front wagon??

What was going on!?

“B–Beets… That Mob-Fenrir bastard is dangerous… Where is Lord Refri Jilator…”

Cresson collapsed on the ground, clutching his crotch as he writhed.

Beets could have sworn he saw genuine fear in Cresson’s eyes.

He seemed to be holding something in one hand, but…

“…I am right here, Cresson. And what exactly is that in your hand?”

With every step Lord Refri Jilator took, foul-smelling filth dripped from him onto the ground.

Beets could not help but frown.

But the instant he did, Lord Refri Jilator glared at him again.

Beets hastily forced a bright smile onto his face instead, and Lord Refri Jilator bent down to pick up the object Cresson had been holding.

“Th–This is… I see, so that is what happened… Cresson. You crushed this while saying my name, did you not?”

“Y–Yes, that’s right…”

Lord Refri Jilator’s face twisted into a demonic grimace.

“Heh heh heh… To think you would use such an expensive item for no other purpose than to switch places with me. I have never met such a fool before… One who would waste a high-priced item purely for harassment.”

“Wh–What do you… ugh!?”

The stench radiating from Lord Refri Jilator made Cresson’s nose want to curl in on itself.

“You really are persistent, Cresson… Are you that desperate to anger me? Very well. The item you used is a highly valuable ‘Swap Place,’ a consumable whose only effect is to swap positions. I suspect that man handed you this Swap Place and forced you to speak my name… Heh heh heh… To attack me, and then drench me in my own contents… I have never experienced such humiliation before. That… that bastard! I will never forgive him! Did he really think he could make an enemy of me and still live a peaceful life!? I am going to hunt him down and kill him!”

“Gyahn!?”

With a shriek, Lord Refri Jilator drove his foot up into Cresson’s already-injured crotch. Cresson spewed foam from his mouth and collapsed.

H–Horrifying…

To kick Cresson right in the crotch when he was already gravely wounded there…

He had practically lost his life as a man already, yet Lord Refri Jilator could calmly pile on the finishing blow.

As expected of Lord Refri Jilator.

“Leave that trash and let us go. The smell is unbearable.”

“Y–Yes, I will make the preparations immediately!”

Leaving the unconscious, foam-mouthed Cresson where he had fallen, Beets hurried to avoid worsening Lord Refri Jilator’s mood. He prepared a shower and a change of clothes, then booked the requested cosmetic surgery.

“Beets! Get rid of these clothes! And clean every place I walked! I expect it all done before I get out of the shower!”

“Y–Yes, right away!”

The first thing they did after returning to the Refrigerator Clan headquarters…

Was cleaning up all the filth Lord Refri Jilator had left behind.

Damn it!

Why did an elite of the Refrigerator Clan like him have to do this…?

This was all that Mob-Fenrir bastard’s fault for drenching Lord Refri Jilator in his own “contents”!

He would never forgive him.

Eyes burning with rage, Beets began scrubbing the corridor smeared with Lord Refri Jilator’s trail.

◇◆◇

“…I see. That is a relief.”

Back at the inn, I had the staff walk me through what had happened and whether Refri Jilator and his crew had done anything to them.

From what I heard, they had not caused any trouble for the inn itself.

If they had torched the place like Land Shark Main Office, I would have had to go crush the Refrigerator Clan with my own two hands.

I could not completely annihilate them, but I could at least make their lives miserable.

Still, it sounded like they had only been looking for me, and that they had come here to take the inn back in the first place, so they probably had not been willing to resort to anything too extreme.

After putting him through all that, though, I really wanted to believe they would not show up again.

In any case, I needed to put some kind of countermeasure in place.

Maybe I should just hire the Adventurers’ Guild to handle security for the inn.

That sounded like the best option.

If money could solve a problem, then money should be the first thing thrown at it.

I was not looking to squeeze every last coin of profit out of this inn.

As long as it stayed afloat, that was more than enough.

All right. Decision made.

I would hire adventurers to guard the place.

With that in mind, I headed straight for the Adventurers’ Guild.

“Okay then…”

Once I arrived, I immediately set about requesting security for the inn.

To chase off the Refrigerator Clan’s thugs, I figured I would need at least C-rank power.

That was my impression after actually trading blows with them.

But would a C-rank even accept a simple inn security job?

Feeling a twinge of unease, I submitted the request at the counter, only for the receptionist to shake her head.

“I am terribly sorry. At present, we have no adventurers we can introduce to you.”

“What!? Why not!?”

There were tons of adventurers right here in the guild tavern, for crying out loud!

The receptionist gave me an apologetic look.

“T–The truth is, we have recently seen an explosion of people whose rank does not match their level… At the moment, the Adventurers’ Guild is in the middle of debating an overhaul of how the rank system is administered. For that reason, we are refraining from introducing or dispatching adventurers for the time being.”

“Y–You’ve got to be kidding…”

So the level 1 S-rank adventurer boom was causing fallout here too…

Well, thinking about it, it made sense.

The Adventurers’ Guild could not very well recommend or dispatch adventurers whose actual ability did not match their rank.

If they sent someone weak for a job and that adventurer failed, it would be the guild’s reputation that took the hit.

Still, this was bad…

I had not seen this coming at all.

“Hey? Aren’t you Kakeru?”

“Hm?”

I turned at the voice behind me.

Standing there was a mage with a body built like a heavyweight fighter and skin as jet-black as if he lived in a tanning salon: Kyle.