IGTL Chapter 67

Chapter 67 – Dear Shithead Brother, Get Your Ass to Work. No, Seriously.  ②

“Yeah, she’s a little loose with money, but that’s cute too. Besides, when I help her out financially, she says things like, ‘I feel so calm when I’m with you, Yoichi,’ and ‘You’re working so hard, Yoichi. You’re amazing!’ She takes such good care of me too. Honestly, I’ve got no complaints.”

Wh-What in the world was this scumbag saying…?

Help her out financially?

An unemployed man who had piled up debt, couldn’t even repay it, and got forcibly shipped back to our family home?

“H-Heeh, is that so… Wait, you were unemployed, weren’t you? Where exactly do you have the spare money to help her out financially?”

When I asked that, my shithead brother laughed as if the answer was obvious.

“Hm? That’s obvious. I borrowed it. I borrowed from a consumer finance company. Man, getting married costs money, right? While supporting her, I also made a joint account under her name. I’m pretty responsible, aren’t I?”

“You borrowed from a consumer finance company!?”

He went into debt and dumped the money into a joint account under his girlfriend’s name!?

What the hell was this idiot thinking!?

His lack of restraint was making my head spin…

“Man, she said we should make a joint account to save up for the wedding! See, I’m loose with money, right? So for now, I put two million yen into the joint account I made with her under her name.”

Two million yen!?

Don’t screw… No, wait. Wasn’t he being scammed…?

Marriage fraud… Or was she one of those modern-day sugar-baby scammers?

Far from being some angel willing to take in my scum-of-scum shithead brother, who was like concentrated trash boiled down from every scumbag in the world, he had been charmed by one hell of a demon!

That was under her name, right!?

The moment he put money into that joint account, it was never coming back. Not ever!

My older brother had always been a stupid piece of garbage, but this was terrible. Far too terrible.

After witnessing my stupid piece-of-garbage brother super-evolve into a complete and utter moron, I quietly moved the smartphone away from my ear and looked up into the air.

Even while I looked up, his lovestruck rambling about his girlfriend kept pouring out of the smartphone.

“Man, she approached me at a matchmaking party. She’s seriously so cute! But apparently, she’s having trouble paying her rent, and she didn’t have enough money for her credit card withdrawal, so she was in a bind. I’ve had trouble because I had no money too, so I couldn’t see it as someone else’s problem and ended up supporting her. Well, we’ll be getting married soon anyway, so it’s fine, right? Huh? Are you listening? Hey. What’s wrong? Can you hear me?”

I could hear him perfectly.

“…Hey, you piece of shit. Are you seriously screwing with me? Who do you think paid off the debts you stupidly piled up? We did, damn it! And yet you went and borrowed money again without learning a damn thing! Actually, didn’t we cut up your cards so you couldn’t use them? How the hell did you borrow money!? You’re already blacklisted, aren’t you!?”

That was the biggest mystery.

How could a guy who had defaulted on debt all over the place and couldn’t even pay the interest borrow money?

That should have been impossible!

“Huh? Because I made it under Dad’s name?”

I’ll kill you.

What the hell was this bastard doing, applying for a card loan under Dad’s name without permission…?

“Hey, you… Dad knows about this, right?”

When I said that with murderous intent packed into every word, my shithead brother laughed cheerfully and made excuses.

“Ahahaha! That’s a funny thing to say! Of course I couldn’t tell him that. If he found out, I’d get kicked out of this house.”

No, get kicked out right now!

For once, he needed to learn how important it was to earn money.

Actually, work!

“Are you seriously saying that…? For example, how would you feel if someone secretly made debt under your name without you knowing, and you ended up having to pay it?”

“Huh? That’s a crime, isn’t it? Why would I need to pay a debt someone made without my permission?”

Because that was exactly what you did, dumbass!

For now, I needed to tell Dad about this…

At that time, I would tell him to just cut this idiot loose already. Like hell I cared about support obligations!

“…Hey, scum. Where are you right now?”

He had called at this timing.

He definitely wasn’t at our family home.

“Calling me scum is cruel. I’m in Ikebukuro right now. I came to see my scumbag friend Kudo. Do you know where he is? He said he wanted to meet you, so I told him where you were, but I haven’t been able to reach him for a few days now.”

His scumbag friend Kudo!?

So it was you!

You were the one who told him I was in Shimbashi!

What the hell were you doing, telling scum where I was without permission!?

Take that initiative and somehow connect it to actual work, you idiot!

However, my feelings did not get through to my scumbag brother, who had super-evolved into a complete idiot.

“Maybe that bastard Kudo became a full-time employee before me? Nah, no way. I mean, that guy’s an idiot…”

No, he’s better than you!

Sorry, Kudo. I’d been calling you scum, but it turned out there was always someone above you.

Actually, this was the summit. A supreme moron reigning at the peak was right here, wearing a stupid grin on the other side of my smartphone!

“…Want to meet up? I’m in Shimbashi right now.”

“Oh, really? Come to think of it, you live in Shimbashi, right? I heard it from Dad! You’ve got it rough too. You work at some black company, right?”

Better than being parasitized by someone black-hearted!

I had no idea how many times I had retorted in my head by now.

Seriously, enough already!

“Well, I’m currently between jobs.”

“Huh? You’re unemployed? Hey, what are you going to do? I’m getting married next month, you know? Weddings cost money too. I’m counting on your gift money, so make sure you work properly.”

You are the last person I want to hear that from!

Actually, why was everyone around me like this?

Normal people, please!

“Ah, man, that killed my mood. There’s no point meeting someone who has no money. What should I do? I was planning to borrow some money from you too.”

Heeh, so he wanted money…

Then I would lend it to him.

Under conditions harsher than Kudo’s, that is…

“…Fine. I’ll lend you some. How much do you want?”

“Oh, seriously? Then lend me a hundred thousand for now! My bank account is…”

“If it’s a transfer, I’m not lending you anything. How much do you think I’ve already lent you? If you want me to lend you money, it’ll be in person…”

Otherwise, I couldn’t have him fill out the Contract directly and drop him into hell, now could I?

“Eeeh… But…”

This bastard…

Fine. In that case, I would present terms that would make him want to see me.

“I’m planning to prepare one million yen as a wedding gift for you.”

“O-One million yen…”

Yeah, as severance money…

My shithead brother was trembling on the other end of the phone.

I had also trembled from how badly I wanted to cut ties with him.

If I was going to cut that tie anyway, I might as well do it after forcing him onto the proper path!

“…Also, before the wedding, I’d like to meet the person you’re marrying. If you introduce me to her, I’ll give you the gift money on the spot today. What will you do?”

You parasite feeding off my shithead brother…

You picked the wrong person to stick your hand into, didn’t you!?

You scammer… Don’t think I’ll go easy on you just because you’re a woman.

You’ll suffer just like my shithead brother, you damn pig!

I’ll write the prohibited clauses into the Contract in letters so tiny they’ll barely be visible!

When I said that, my shithead brother…

“Y-Yeah! Of course I was planning to introduce you. You’re my precious little brother, after all! Then I’ll contact her, so how about we meet in one hour at Ikebukuro Station’s east exit?”

“Yeah, of course. Then I’ll prepare the gift money and head over.”

When I said that, my shithead brother went wild with joy.

“Hey, hey, hey! Really? Are you seriously giving me gift money!?”

“Yeah, of course.”

However, you’ll have to sign the receipt known as the paid item “Contract.”

I would have you properly pay back all the money you borrowed and all the trouble you caused us by going into debt.

With interest, of course…

And unlike Kudo, even after you paid back the debt, I would have you keep working as a decent human being.

I didn’t care what happened to Kudo, but in your case, it would be a problem if you reverted to being scum the moment the debt was paid off.

At the very least, I would have you all remain decent human beings until I died.

Earn money properly and live properly.

It would also be the perfect punishment for the female demon who had latched onto my shithead brother.

You demon who sent my mood plummeting to rock bottom for an instant. Taste the hell of being forcibly married to my shithead brother!

Fortunately, the paid item “Contract” made that possible.

I would use one million yen as bait and reel both of you in.

A clean, single-line catch.

Then you could savor it. Savor what happened because you chose me as your target…

By betting your entire life.

Thinking that, I grinned to myself.

“…Then we’ll meet in one hour at Ikebukuro Station’s east exit. In front of the lottery booth. Is that fine?”

“Yeah, of course! I’ll be waiting there with her.”

“Got it. See you then!”

After ending the call, I smiled.

Heheheh…

It did feel like my money had been draining away insanely fast lately, but if I could rehabilitate two pieces of scum for just one million yen, that was cheap.

If this went well, I would no longer need to worry about supporting my shithead brother in the future, and my parents’ retirement years would be secure too.

I would keep them penned in just enough to barely survive.

We had thrown huge sums of money into the gutter several times to repay his debts.

Now he could spend his life tasting part of the suffering we experienced.

Good for you, Dad, Mom.

The money you advanced on behalf of my shithead brother, money that had no hope of ever coming back, would return with interest!

While I was at it, thanks to my shithead brother and his wife, your pension life after retirement would be secure too!

My shithead brother and his wife getting married might produce a hybrid child, but there was such a thing as learning from bad examples. Unexpectedly, my shithead brother’s child might turn out normal.

Don’t worry!

If the child turned out like my shithead brother, I would properly bind them with a Contract and help them become a decent human being!

After making that decision, I entered the library once more and began writing penalty clauses into the paid item “Contract” in letters about two millimeters per character.

Some of you might have noticed already, but the important thing about this paid item “Contract” was that the person had to sign the Contract in their own handwriting.

Therefore, even if someone signed with a fake name, it still took effect without any problem.

Well, of course it did. Player names and real names were different, and the paid item “Contract” did not possess legal binding force.

It was an item meant to forcibly execute the clauses set upon the person who signed it…

After I finished writing the clauses, I grinned, stored the Contract in Item Storage, and headed to Mizuho Bank to withdraw money.