IGTL Chapter 28

Chapter 28 – The Curse of the Yandere Girl (2)

“K-Kakeru-kun. Kakeru-kun… Hey, isn’t this kind of bad?”

Just as I was finally starting to feel guilty that I might have made him equip something outrageous, Kyle looked down at the mail body.

“W-What the hell is this…?”

On the screen was an email, now dyed a vivid, warning-signal red.

“‘Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply? Why won’t you reply?’”

Th-This is baaaad.

Whatever was haunting that gear was seriously bad news.

Sorry, Kyle.

Right now I felt like I could give him the most wholehearted dogeza of my life.

That said, replying to the yandere girl took priority.

“Y-You should probably reply to her. Fast.”

“Y-Yeah…”

When I urged him, Kyle fired off a reply to Miss Merry and then immediately gave a strained laugh.

“H-Hey… What now?”

“I-I dunno how to put it, but… She says I’m never, ever allowed to show her mails to anyone again… And whenever she sends one, I have to answer immediately… And also…”

“And also?”

Kyle hesitated, then muttered:

“S-She says she’s watching over me, always, anywhere, forever… No way! That’s freaky as hell! What is this, what does it even mean!? I’m totally cursed, I’m—gh!?”

“K-Kyle!? What’s wrong!? Hey, you okay!?”

Kyle suddenly clutched his stomach and doubled over in pain. What on earth was happening?

“Urgh… Merry just stabbed me in the gut…”

“Wh-What! Are you serious!?”

But there was no sign of a wound on his abdomen.

Th-This must be…

“Uh, I don’t see any stab marks, though…”

“T-That can’t be…!”

Kyle rubbed his stomach with a puzzled look. Realizing there was no wound, his face stiffened.

“…W-What’s going on?”

“Hey, seriously, are you all right?”

“Y-Yeah… Hm? Hmmm…?”

As I stared at him in concern, Kyle’s expression slowly melted into a stupid grin.

…Huh?

Seriously, what?

Did getting stabbed by Merry scramble his brain?

Are you okay in the head, man??

“W-Well now, Kakeru-kun. Knowing there’s someone who thinks about me so single-mindedly all the time is just the best, isn’t it?”

“Wh-What!? Okay, seriously, what is wrong with you!? What are you talking about!? Is your head okay??”

You literally just got your gut metaphorically shanked by that Merry girl, you know!?

There might not be an external wound, but she definitely stuck a knife in you just now!

“Oh, of course it is. I’ve awakened, you see. To true love.”

“No, seriously, what are you even saying!?”

What do I do. Kyle’s brain broke.

And it was my fault, because I made him equip the cursed gear.

As I clutched my head, trying to process the nonsense, Kyle shook his own head slowly.

“Kakeru-kun. Don’t tell me you’ve never gone out with a girl?”

“Urk!?”

H-How did he…?

And why ask that now of all times? Also, wipe that smug look off your face.

It was really grating.

“S-So what if I haven’t…”

“I knew it. I figured as much… Sorry I’m so far ahead of you, man. Feast your eyes on this.”

With that, Kyle proudly showed me a photo attached to Merry-chan’s mail.

The image showed a half-naked, seductively posed beauty.

Her only real flaw was that her feet were slightly transparent.

“S-So what about it?”

“What do you mean, ‘so what’… G-Guh!?”

The moment he showed me Merry-chan’s photo, Kyle grabbed his belly and collapsed.

He’d probably been stabbed in the gut by Merry-chan again.

She told him not to show her mails to anyone, and the idiot did it anyway.

I gave him a flat, icy look.

For some reason, in return, Kyle looked up at me with a weirdly triumphant expression.

“…Merry-chan’s way of showing affection is a bit intense. But it’s fine. I love that about you too.”

“…Okay, what are you even saying?”

Why are you looking at my face?

Are you saying that to me?

Or is Merry-chan standing behind me or something??

No way he was seeing me as Merry-chan, right??

This was terrifying in all sorts of ways.

For now, I pointed my Mob-Fenrir Bazooka at the idiot’s face and “gently” discouraged him from saying anything more incomprehensible.

“Anyway, look. Your brain being busted is nothing new, and with that gear you can steamroll a beginner dungeon. So how about you wake up a bit, yeah? We’ll start from there. I’m sorry, okay? I just thought that cursed gear suited you perfectly. I mean, think about it. You take your hard-earned money, blow it on gambling and women, and then finish it off by going into debt. Obviously I’d want to give you something that stops you doing all that, right? I just didn’t think it would mess you up this badly. If you’re going to get that far gone, we should go to the church, yeah? Go pray a bit. I’ll pay the whole curse-removal fee for you.”

Kyle turned me down on the spot.

“Nah, I’m good on that front. What I want is time to nurture our love. So could you leave me alone?”

Uh, nurture love? How, exactly?

Your “girlfriend” is probably some kind of evil spirit, you know…

You’re serious about this?

…Well, whatever.

“Fine, fine. Just make sure you come back safe. To this world, I mean.”

Leaving those words behind, I decided to return to the royal capital.

◇◆◇

“Think Kyle will be all right…? Eh, it’ll probably be fine.”

Back in the capital, I muttered to myself as I headed toward the Adventurers’ Guild.

Why the Adventurers’ Guild?

Because I didn’t really have anything else to do.

I could have dived into a dungeon solo and ground levels, but I just wasn’t in that kind of mood.

I opened the menu bar to check the time: still only three in the afternoon.

Even if I logged out and went back to the Candeo Hotel in the real world, there wasn’t much to enjoy there, and the izakaya* weren’t open yet. So I decided to hit the guild tavern instead. (TN: Casual Japanese bar)

At the Adventurers’ Guild tavern, you could drink any time, twenty-four seven.

Thinking back, since this world had become reality, the only times I’d really used the tavern were when I listened to Kyle’s complaints and when I treated the Elementals to Peroperosaurus TKG.

I’d never actually sat down to properly enjoy the place.

Starting on booze at three in the afternoon didn’t sound half bad…

With that in mind, I stepped through the guild doors and into the tavern, sat at a table, grabbed the menu, and decided to order some food.

“Excuse me, I’d like to order.”

“Yes! I’ll be right over!”

I waved over a nearby waitress, then kept scanning the menu while waiting for her.

Still, it was pretty packed…

The waitresses and waiters all looked swamped.

After a few minutes of those thoughts, the waitress jogged over.

“Th-Thank you for waiting. May I take your order?”

“Oh, you really didn’t keep me waiting that long. Let’s see… I’ll have the ‘Namitaro Miso Stew,’ the ‘Dragonfish Vinegared Sashimi,’ a ‘Golden Ale,’ and four servings of ‘Peroperosaurus TKG,’ please.”

“Certainly! One ‘Namitaro Miso Stew,’ one ‘Dragonfish Vinegared Sashimi,’ a ‘Golden Ale,’ and four ‘Peroperosaurus TKG,’ correct! Got it! Please wait just a moment longer!”

She propped the menu upright at the edge of the table and hurried off.

“Pretty impressive. It’s only three and it’s this crowded…”

Looking around, I saw drunk adventurers everywhere.

Starting a booze-up at three in the afternoon… That was something I never could have imagined back at my old job.

Adventurers really were something else.

They probably enjoyed a lifestyle unbound by time.

Not that I didn’t already know that… but it was still glorious.

While I enjoyed a bit of downtime with the Elementals, the adventurer at the table beside mine suddenly exploded in irritation.

“Damn it! This food is crap! Give me my money back!”

I glanced at the dish he was wolfing down while calling it crap.

Namitaro Miso Stew, Dragonfish Vinegared Sashimi, a Golden Ale, and Peroperosaurus TKG.

Exactly the same set I’d ordered.

Uh, that’s supposed to be bad?

Sure didn’t look that way, judging by how fast he was shoveling it in…

As I pondered that and waited for my own food, the waitress brought it over.

“Thank you for waiting! One ‘Namitaro Miso Stew,’ one ‘Dragonfish Vinegared Sashimi,’ a ‘Golden Ale,’ and four ‘Peroperosaurus TKG’!”

“Ah, thanks.”

As the waitress placed everything on the table, the Elementals neatly took their seats as well.

Peroperosaurus TKG was delicious, after all.

“All right then, let’s dig in. Thanks for the food!”

The instant I picked up my chopsticks and said that, a waiter from the neighboring table came flying our way.

With a crash straight out of a manga—“DONGARAGASHAAN!”—the waiter barreled through and wiped out all the dishes that had just been set down.

“Aaaaaaah!?”

Wh-What are you doing to my food!?

The dishes, crushed under the fallen waiter, were ruined beyond recognition.

The Elementals immediately swarmed the wreckage.

As expected of them.

Even when the food had been knocked over, splattered everywhere, and reduced to a sorry mess, they still dug in with the same attitude of “You’re just as tasty as ever.”

Truly noble.

And me…?

I was painfully aware of how ugly my own heart was in comparison.

I glanced over at the neighboring table.

There, an adventurer was raging, his face twisted with fury.

“You bastard! You serve crap food like this and still think you can take my money!?”

“M-My deepest apologies…”

“‘My deepest apologies,’ huh? If a sorry fixed things, we wouldn’t need city guards! You serve something that doesn’t suit my refined tastes and that’s all you’ve got to say!? Can’t even manage a ‘We’ll refund you, sir, we’re terribly sorry’ you worthless piece of trash!?”

So that was it. The waiter had been dealing with a chronic complainer who’d picked a fight with him.

While the Elementals happily picked at the ruined meal, I stood up and grabbed the adventurer’s arm just as he was about to swing at the waiter.