IGTL Chapter 37

Chapter 37 – Being Asked for Welfare in a Game World Turned Real Was Not My Problem (2)

“…Huh? Wait, Kakeru. Don’t tell me you don’t know about the welfare system?”

“Seriously?”

Oh, I knew about it, alright.

But why was a perfectly able-bodied shut-in acting so smug while lecturing me about welfare?

Crap. I was getting confused. It felt like my brain was about to fall apart.

While I stood there dumbfounded, AAAA shook his head like good grief.

“Kakeru, you’re uneducated. I’m a man who spent forty years living off my parents… If you don’t know at least that much, you’ll get abandoned, or you won’t know what to do once they’re gone.”

…Yeah, I guess that’s true?

If the leg you were chewing on disappeared, that’s exactly what would happen.

Wait. Something felt wrong.

Was my thought process broken?

Why was he saying that with so much confidence?

That was, by any normal standard, a trash-tier statement.

Or was I the weird one?

Before I could move past “stunned” into “speechless,” AAAA leaned in and peered at my face.

“Why’re you making that spaced-out look? Don’t tell me you really didn’t know about welfare?”

“…What are you even expecting from a game world? There’s no way DW has a welfare system.”

You didn’t need a PhD to figure that out.

Welfare… in a game world.

No dreams. No hope.

“W-What!?”

The moment I pointed it out, AAAA’s face went pale.

Wait, what was that expression? Did he seriously think this world had welfare for real?

AAAA wobbled, dropped to his knees, planted both hands on the ground, and hung his head.

“N-No way… Then how am I supposed to live…?”

“Work like a normal person…?”

What was he even saying?

Was something wrong with his head?

As I stared at him with open exasperation, AAAA suddenly raised his voice.

“What are you talking about!? I only survived this long because my parents were there! There’s no way I can live on my own!”

“N-Not something you should be proud of!”

What was this mooch saying?

This was beyond unhinged. The guy had to be mentally unwell.

“Th-Then how am I supposed to live…? If there’s nobody to leec— nobody to rely on… I can’t… I can’t…”

He muttered that, then looked up at me.

That needy, clinging gaze was terrifying.

Like some kind of parasite.

…No, not a bug, so more like a parasitic beast?

“Well, uh… be strong… somehow…”

I lightly patted his shoulder, and AAAA physically tried to latch onto me.

“H-Hey, wait! Ah…!”

I dodged with a clean backstep, then waved at the despairing AAAA while turning away.

“Alright, AAAA. Enjoy your brief moment of happiness. One million col. Use it wisely.”

“K-Kakeruuuuuu!”

But I’d underestimated him.

AAAA was a hopeless man who’d spent forty years chewing on his parents’ legs while doing nothing but gaming.

The moment he clearly recognized his life was in danger, the parasitic beast AAAA sprinted after me and clamped onto my leg.

“K-Kakeru! Don’t abandon meeeee!”

“Tch! Let go!”

His grip was strong.

As expected of a man who’d spent forty years living as a parasite.

His attachment to a host was unreal.

“I don’t have a hobby of raising mooches! And more importantly, work! Go hunt! If you go to a dungeon, there are tons of monsters that’ll make you money!”

“So you want me to die!?”

“I never said that! Didn’t you hear? The Adventurers’ Guild sends escorts until you hit level twenty! Weren’t those guys earlier doing exactly that!?”

AAAA’s face twisted.

“Th-Then you come with me, Kakeru!”

“Hah!?”

Why?

Taking care of a moocher sounded like the worst kind of hell. As I tried to refuse, AAAA clung even harder.

“W-We’re the same kind of people!”

“Don’t say disgusting things!”

Birds of a feather.

A saying for when two people seem unrelated but are actually the same sort.

Don’t lump me in with you.

Me and you are the same?

No, thanks. Don’t put us in the same category.

A pig that can’t fly is just a pig.

And a moocher who only clings to others and never stands on his own stays a moocher forever.

“Ugh… Then what am I supposed to do…?”

He was pathetic.

And somehow, that made me feel a little bad.

Fine. Just this once. Just this once, I’d help him.

All I had to do was get him to the point where he could go work (in a dungeon) alone. Problem solved.

“…Just this once. You’ve got forty seconds to get ready. But you follow my orders, no exceptions.”

“Huh?”

AAAA blinked, totally blank.

“I hate slackers. We’re going to a dungeon. Stop spacing out and get up!”

“H-Huh!?”

I yanked the confused AAAA to his feet, grabbed him by the scruff, and dragged the whining parasite along toward a dungeon.

◇◆◇

“Th-This is…”

“Hm? You want to know where we are? That’s obvious. The intermediate dungeon ‘Volcano Cave.’”

Where we were standing was the massive volcanic cavern dungeon “Volcano Cave.”

For AAAA, whose level had been reset, it was a bit much.

So why pick that dungeon?

Because I wanted to power-level him efficiently.

I wasn’t free either. Stuff like this needed to be finished quickly.

“Why!? ‘Volcano Cave’ is an intermediate dungeon! I’ll die at my level!”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re unhappy with the current you, yes? But now it’s okay! I will power-level you up!”

“Why are you doing a ‘PowerPro’ bit!? Who the heck are you, Dr. Daijoubu!?”

I gracefully ignored AAAA’s screaming and rummaged through my Item Storage for cursed gear.

“Science progress requires sacrifice, but I will do my best so we do not become that!”

“I’m not reassured at all!”

“If I say it is okay, it is okay. Here we go.”

“H-Hey! Kakeru, what are you…!?”

I aimed the “Mob-Fenrir Bazooka” at AAAA and fired a “Gleipnir” round, a magic chain meant for binding, so he couldn’t escape.

Then I shoved cursed equipment into his hands and released him from “Gleipnir.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay! You only need to equip cursed gear! A new you is waiting!”

“N-Nooooooo!”

The moment I handed the gear to the screaming AAAA, the black, unknown substance coating it seeped into his body.

And then, the AAAA who should’ve been unable to move suddenly sat up like nothing was wrong.

“Huh? What was I doing here? Feels like something awful happened to me… Welp, time to go back to the dungeon!”

Still wearing the cursed gear on one hand, he stood up and dashed straight into the volcanic cavern dungeon “Volcano Cave,” weapon in hand.

“Oh! Perfect success! Another step forward for medicine… Wait, this is not the time!”

I took off running after the suddenly sprinting AAAA.

“W-Wait! You can’t just run into a dungeon on your own!”

“Ahahahahaha!”

That laugh wasn’t normal.

I hadn’t expected the cursed gear to do that.

I’d assumed it would probably work out, considering what happened with Kyle, but apparently I’d guessed wrong.

What I’d given AAAA was a DW collaboration item: “Wrath of the Naming God.”

It granted a blessing to idiots who named themselves things like “AAAA,” “IIIII,” or “UUUU,” making it cursed equipment for a limited subset of players.

Whether it truly counted as “cursed” was debatable, but DW classified it that way.

Its power was simple:

Temporary physical and magic immunity.

But because it was cursed, you could never change your name. Change even a single character and your stats were reset.

Also, because the Naming God hated you, healing at churches was completely nullified.

Even drinking recovery potions only restored a tiny amount.

A prank item made as a joke, left in the game in the hope the devs would eventually regain their sanity and nerf it…

Except they didn’t. They sold it as a paid item exactly as it was.

Naturally, the day after release, social media and news sites exploded, and emergency maintenance hit. Everyone thought the item had been deleted.

But it looked like it had been sitting safely in my My Room storage the whole time.

“Amazing! Power is surging through me! So this is the power of cursed gear!”

“Y-Yeah, but stop! You’re level one right now! Do you understand that!?”

“Wrath of the Naming God” only gave temporary physical and magic immunity. That was it.

AAAA’s stats had been reset by Odin, so even if he attacked an intermediate-dungeon monster, he probably wouldn’t deal any damage.

“I get it! I get it! But I feel like I can do it now. Take this! Critical Strike!”

AAAA raised his sword high, then swung down with all his might at the monster.

With a loud crack, the sword snapped.

The field boss monster that spawned in the volcanic cavern dungeon “Volcano Cave,” the “Volcano Dragon,” turned around… and, as if swatting away a nuisance, swept AAAA aside with its tail.